Repost - A New Church

***ORIGINALLY POSTED 04SEP08***

So I've decided to start a new church. Yup, you heard right. It's called the Goat of the Heathens Church. Or the GotH Church. Hehe. So here are some laws for my church. The Satanists have 9, the Xians have 10, I have 8. More efficiency I say.

The Eight Laws

1. Think for yourself.
This should be obvious, but as is evidenced by the billion Abrahamists out there - Christians, Jews and Muslims - it isn't practiced.

2. Treat others correctly.
Everybody always says to treat others as you want to be treated. This is crap. Treat others as THEY should be treated. If they have no regard for themselves or those around them, you need not have regard for them. If they go out of their way to disturb you, destroy them. Likewise, if they treat you with respect, return the gesture unequivocally.

3. Keep Silent.
Nobody wants to hear about your bad day. Or that your dog died on Tuesday. Cold? Sure. True? Absolutely. Unless someone specifically ASKS you to give them details, keep it to yourself. Along the same vein, you do not need to give all your qualifications to everyone you encounter.

4. Treat children with reverence.
Again, should be obvious. But too many fucktards out there make this law necessary. If they cannot defend themselves then you are worse than a monster if you prey on them.

5. Respect the land.
Until we move to Mars this is all we got. Respect it and take care of it. This doesn't mean you have to buy into all the Global Warming horseshit (see Law 1) but it does mean you need to stop trashing it.

6. Put no other gods above yourself.
YOU are your god. Regardless of whether you worship another form, that god is you and is a part of you. If you want something done, do it. If you want something done for someone else, do it. Do not sit back and say "it's God's will" or "God has a plan". If there IS a real God, then he/she stopped giving a shit a long time ago, now there is no Fate but what we make.

7. Conform to no one.
Maintain your own beliefs. If you like Pentacles, wear them. If you want to have sex while hanging upside down from the rafters, feel free. Do not let religionists dictate what you can and cannot believe and do.

8. Zealots need not apply.
Let the nuts stay in their Houses of the Holy. We don't need them here. Simple enough?

I think these are a good start. Some are similar to ones I've seen elsewhere, I just agree with them enough to include them here.

More to come.