Obituary

At 423 years old, Sir Lord Goatama Himself, was the oldest, most cantankerous asshole on the planet for the last several centuries. He flew his car himself right up until the day he died from sheer exhaustion after pleasing every playmate at the new Playboy Amusement Park in what used to be sunny Southern California, but is now known as The Floating City of Debauchery. He is survived by more children, grand children, great grandchildren, etc etc etc than the mythical/biblical Abraham. In fact, it is believed that everyone on the planet is somehow tied to this multi-billionaire, either through birth or marriage. His most significant accomplishment in his long-ass life was abolishing the entire "PC" movement. He is quoted as saying "Fuck political correctness right in its ear."