Windows 7 vs OS X

I keep reading articles about how a Microsoft employee said "What we've tried to do with Windows 7 - whether it's traditional format or in a touch format—is create a Mac look and feel in terms of graphics. We've significantly improved the graphical user interface, but it's built on that very stable core Vista technology, which is far more stable than the current Mac platform, for instance." Then Microsoft came back and debunked this statement saying that the employee was not at all linked to the GUI development and wasn't equipped with the knowledge to make that statement.

First off, allow me to wipe my eyes, they were tearing up from laughing so hard. "Vista... is far more stable than the current Mac platform..." You're joking, right? I think the last time I had a kernel panic was when I had tweaked something I shouldn't have in a place I shouldn't have been tweaking things. That was my fault. And OS X asked me if I was really sure I wanted to do that. In comparison, my Windows machine was borking on a daily basis due to a Microsoft-installed driver for my video card. Still not sure how the hell that got installed.

But, see, here's the thing: 90% of all problems on Windows come from their (they being Microsoft) inability to keep the operating system secure. The other 10% come from effed up drivers. (EDIT: Statistics created off the cuff, but with some decent guesstimations based on experience.)

Let's address the 90% first. I run my Mac in Admin mode (which is naughty, I know), but every time anything wants to install on my machine, I still have to give it permission by typing in my Admin password. EVERY. TIME. Is that a pain? Not really. Does Windows do this? Sporadically at best, it seems. And it didn't start until Vista.

Here's another thing I hear all the time: "Well the reason there are no virii or spyware for the Mac is because nobody uses them and/or nobody cares enough to take the time to create a virus for them." Is that really the case? Or is it that the OS is locked down tight enough to where malicious software can't get into the system folder and start mucking about? I'm pretty sure most virus making toolkits are *nix based. Which means they aren't even created on Windows machines. But it only makes sense to deploy them on Windows machines because they have the majority of the market share. It's simple business. Are you going to advertise your product on TV in an Amish community? Prolly not. Or, better yet, open up an electronics store there?

Yes, Windows does continue to have the majority of the market share. And that will continue until someone else can put out an office suite that rivals MS Office. OpenOffice is good, but too many people worry because it's free that it won't be as good as the software you have to drop $150-$350 for. I still don't get that.

Now on to the 10%: drivers. The other great thing about a Mac is that I don't have to worry about my video card not being compatible with the rest of my system. For any of you that have custom-built a machine you know what I am talking about. If you don't do your homework you could end up with all kinds of incompatibilities that you'll tear your hair out trying to resolve. And that happens sometimes even when you DO do your homework. With a Mac, it all comes pre-packaged. If I do end up having a problem with the OS or the hardware, I can call one place: Apple. I don't have to call Microsoft first only to have them refer me to the video card manufacturer, only to have them refer me to the motherboard manufacturer, etc, etc, ad nauseum. Unless of course it's some bizarre third party app that I am having problems with, then I usually end up calling them first anyways.

Yes, Windows 7 does look a lot like OS X. But not really any more so than Vista did. In fact I remember writing a blog back when Vista came out calling it Windows OS X. They took a LOT of tips from Apple that time. Now they're just building on what they already stole *choke* borrowed and trying to make it unique. I'm still wondering when they are going to implement a decent version of Spaces or Expose. Yeah, they're getting there, but what they have still isn't remotely as simple to use. And at least if I buy a new Mac I can transfer all my data, my preference, AND my apps without having to reinstall every blasted one of them. Do you think I remember where the hell my Office disk is?

Oh and if ONE person mentions that stupid "Mac Tax", I'm going to charge you the "Windows Tax" by infecting the hell out of your system to where you have to go pay Geek Squad $249 to have them clean your shit. Do that once and then buy all the extra security crap they charge you for annually and by the time your PC dies, you've more than DOUBLED my "Mac Tax". Even if you could get this bitchin' a Windows system for the same price. Seriously go get the specs on a basic Macbook Pro and then try to find a comparable Windows machine for less with the SAME specs. I dare you. Plus almost all of my apps are free or close to it. Yay for OSS.

No such thing as "Secure"

I logged onto FB this morning to a note from a friend asking me if I had received the email from myself asking money to be wired to London. Apparently I had been attacked and mugged by "street orchids". Those damned British flowers are pretty aggressive from what I understand. So with a deep sigh I attempt to get my gmail account back. First problem I run into is that in order to get your account back they send an email to your backup email address. Well that's funny because I didn't set one up at hotmail which is where they sent it. Which means whomever got my account was savvy enough to change that. Makes sense. The next step? Wait over 24 hours and try to reset using the account security question. Yeah, cause I'm sure they didn't change THAT. So then I fill out a form to try to get my account back. Shit, they want some esoteric information. Like 5 email addresses I frequently email. Problem is I only use that for _receiving_ things like bank statements, credit card statements, TEP bills, etc. I don't actually email anyone from it. So that question is tough. Then they want to know the month and year I created the account. It was 5 years ago. I could tell you for certainty if I could log the fuck in. Then they want four labels. I am pretty sure I only have two, so I list them. I also gave them my most recent password. Which they may not have BECAUSE SOMEONE FUCKING CHANGED IT!!!! Oh, and most recent successful login. Well MY last successful login was Friday, but I'm pretty sure whomever has my account has successfully logged in more recently since they are sending emails to people asking for money.

Realizing all the financial data that I have attached to this account, I go to change my info on my bank. I change the username. What do they do? "Confirmation of your username change has been sent to your primary email address." Well fuck. So now the douchebag that has my account has my NEW username for my bank. Super. I then go to change my primary email account but I realized that given their response when I changed my username that they would probably send ANOTHER email to my compromised account informing them of my NEW email address. Bah. And double fuck.

I got an email back from Gmail, apparently I don't know enough to get my own account back. As a consolation prize they suggest I can make a new account. No thanks. I have four other ones. NONE OF WHICH HAVE MY FINANCIAL DATA!! I need THIS account back, god dammit. How many times can I fill out the form to get my own fucking account back?


***UPDATE***
Finally got my account back. I tracked down the email that had originally invited me to Gmail (thank you Corianin). With that information in hand I was able to successfully convince Google Account Services that it was, in fact, MY email address and they returned it to me. I logged in and saw the email that the douche had sent out as me. I also saw that he/she/it had read the email Well Fargo sent informing me that I had changed my username. Fortunately all it said was that I had changed it and needed to use the new one to login next time. No details about what it had been changed to. UNfortunately there was an email from the bank a few days prior that had copies of a deposit that I made so it's possible that the crackers have my checking account and routing numbers. And since I am in the middle of buying a home I can't just freeze my accounts and start over. Too much shit is linked to that account. So I will have to be extra vigilant for the next few weeks. Still not sure how all this happened. My password was of a decent strength and length and my Mac has no spyware on it. ::Sigh::

On a not unrelated note, I discovered something about Wells Fargo's alleged "security". The password to login to your account can only be between 6-14 characters, making it well within the limits to be easily brute forced. Oh, and case sensitivity is irrelevant. That shit is scary. Even AOL's antiquated shit was case-sensitive. It didn't read anything past the 8th character, but it at least respected case.

My apologies

So as you can see, I haven't been on here much lately. With the bazillion projects at work, my classes, the kids, buying a house, packing and moving I haven't had time to do shit else. Once things settle down a bit, I'll be back to writing a bit more. Well once the moving stuff is done. The classes, kids, and work ain't slowing down anytime soon.

TTFN.

Is there no shame in advertising?

I'm watching a commercial on TV for a "Smart Mop" and this British guy is giving the ShamWOW dude a run for his money. Then I get to this part: He pours an entire can of soda onto the floor and shows how it can mop the whole thing up with no dripping and says this "And in these tough times wring it back into the glass and it's ready to drink all over." Wait, what? Did he really just suggest mopping up a DRINK and wringing it back into the glass? Even if the thing was brand new that would still be disgusting.

Way to cash in on the depression, guys. Capitalism at its finest.

Ghosts in the machine?

I think we're about to get hit, and hit hard. And by "we" I mean the U.S. Reading reports lately I've been noticing a trend. "N Korea behind U.S. cyber attacks", or "Cyber attack on U.S. nuclear arms lab linked to China", or how about "Military Looking Abroad for Source of Cyber Attack on Pentagon". If you'll notice, a couple of those articles are older, but I think it's enough to demonstrate my point. Now, read this article "Hathaway resigns as acting cybersecurity czar".

Anybody else see something wrong with this? The acting "cyber czar" takes herself out of the running after completing a 60-day review of our nation's gov't wide cybersecurity preparedness. Her reasoning? Personal. Yeah, methinks she discovered something and decided to pull out before something happened and they pointed the finger at her.

I'm sure you've all seen Die Hard 4, and as unrealistic as the technical details were, there was some truth behind the ideas. What would we do if our military networks were compromised? Our financial networks? These attacks are designed to test our weaknesses, find the holes in our firewalls. The scary question no one seems to be asking is this: what are they leading up to?

Other countries are proactively trying to compromise our infrastructure. They don't have our rules and regulations about playing nice. Sure we have gov't agencies that don't always play by those rules, but every time they do something there is a media flurry about civil rights violations or some other hippy, liberal bullshit.

Right now there is a call out for cyber gurus. Our gov't is finally coming to the realization that we are far behind the times when it comes to cyber security. Our nation's I.T. is being run by a bunch of fossils whose concept of security went the way of the dodo a long time ago. They are actively calling for information security students to join their ranks. The problem is they are also actively pursuing and prosecuting anyone good enough to do the job. Sounds kind of like cutting off one's nose to spite one's face if you ask me. The only way anyone is going to be good enough with something other than security theory is if they are actually breaking into systems, which is a felony. Sure there are lots of programs offered by online schools (ITT Tech, DeVry, UofP, etc) but those are $60k for a degree. And even then nobody really takes those graduates seriously. None of your traditional colleges are offering any serious security courses. Maybe Carnegie Mellon, or MIT, but there aren't enough graduates to fill the ranks. Even then they're usually too paranoid or liberal to be willing to work for our nation's government.

So it seems like we're kind of stuck in a grave of our own making. The question now is what the fuck are we going to do about it?

Killer at Substation Zero

In BIO we had an assignment to come up with a series of tests to identify different types of cells: protozoan, fungi, algae, etc. Unfortunately my teacher said to be creative. While everyone else made up run-of-the-mill tests to identify parts of the cells, this is what I came up with. Enjoy.
-----
"Whatever it is, it got Freddy, too. I found him in his cot, the stuff was coating his chin," Theresa dropped off another vial of the plasm. We'd been on this expedition for two weeks, more than half of our original research team was dead and we had no idea what was causing it, and we had no way out. That was the problem with being dropped off in the middle of freakin' nowhere with no contact with the outside world for a month. Oh sure we brought communication equipment, but unfortunately Mr. Murphy stopped by when Keith, our geologist, died. Nick had been trying to raise the main base and tripped while trying to find a report with an encryption key on it, smashing the radio to the ground. That radio was our only link to anyone. The satellite broke during our insertion and nobody thought to pack a spare, so we didn't even had access to the internet.

Four people had died in the last eight hours. Ever since we opened that sealed door on the south face of The Cave. On the skin around the mouth of each body was a thin, clear, bluish-green liquid substance. It appeared that they had aspirated something when they went into the room. I had a feeling we were dealing with a new type of organism, but I had yet to figure out what. I had never seen something aspirated kill so quickly. As the team's sole microbiologist it was up to me to figure out what was going on. And I had to do it fast, there was just me, Theresa and Nick left. Unfortunately Nick's specialty was security and Theresa's was physics. That left me. Alone with the stuff that appeared to be killing people in less than two hours from exposure. I coughed.

I discarded the UV light I'd been using to test the last sample of the stuff. I figured since it was colored like some algae I would try to cause photosynthesis. There was no reaction to 45 minutes of exposure with the UV light, although I guess that made sense since it seemed each team member had been infected while down in the cave. There wasn't a lot of light 500 feet under the surface of Antarctica. My eyes blurred a bit as I looked back into the microscope. I shook my head and they seemed to clear a bit.

I'd already tested to see if it was a bacteria. I'd used a form of radiation on the first sample that will encapsulate a nucleus in a thin, green shell causing it to glow under a microscope. Since there are around 100 million undescribed prokaryotic species on the planet and bacteria seems to be the most logical choice for what was killing my team members, I tested that first. Unfortunately (fortunately?) whatever it was had a nucleus, so that ruled out bacteria. Now I ruled out algae because without photosynthesis algae can't survive.

I looked under the microscope again. "I wonder..."

I grabbed the bottle of HYPstain and put a small droplet onto a new slide. Using an eye dropper I put another drop from the sample on top of the HYPstain. I slid it under a microscope. "I'll be damned." The HYPstain lit up like a christmas tree. HYPstain is designed to dye the hyphae in fungi bright green. Whatever this substance was, it was full of hyphae.

I wrote down the evidence I had so far. In the last eight hours I had run dozens of tests trying to rule out various biologicals. It had a nucleus, ruling out bacteria and similar prokaryotes; it didn't respond to UV light, showing no signs of photosynthesis, so that ruled out the algae. I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of the HYPstain before, it seemed logical now. In a cave full of unidentified organisms, why wouldn't there be molds and fungi?

It appeared that our silent killer was an ancient form of mold that humans probably have never come into contact with. The government agency funding our little "expedition" was going to be pleased. I don't suppose they cared that it cost them the lives of four of the finest minds in science. They'll get their superweapon. A mold that can kill within two hours of contact with a human host.

Now that I knew what it was, I could stop it from killing the rest of us. Hopefully unti---

My genes made me do it!

So in my BIO class this week we had to come up with a response to one of three different questions. The one I chose was picking either the defense or prosecution of a case where a defendant was claiming that his genetics were responsible for the crime. We were to consider things like heritability, environment, quantitative genes and polygenic traits. Most people chose other questions, only one or two people picked this one and they just analyzed things. I went a different route and decided to be creative. I wrote my piece as a prosecution attorney's closing argument in said trial. What do you guys think?

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as you listen to the closing arguments you will notice that the defense truly wants you to believe that the rape, mutilation and murder of these three college co-eds was because the defendant inherited "bad genes". They've taken you on a truly astounding genetic journey in their attempt to persuade you that because the defendant shared several unfortunate genetic traits with other famous serial killers - John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gein, and Hannibal the Cannibal to name a few - that he had no *choice* but to brutally rape and torture these women before finally ending their lives so far before their time. But let me posit this to you if I may: if this were true, why didn't his identical twin brother do the same? Their genetics are identical, surely those same traits exist in both brothers. So why has the brother not been brought up on similar charges? I'll tell you why. Because genetics are not responsible for these heinous crimes.

During the course of this trial you have learned that the two brothers were given for adoption to different agencies in different parts of the country in an attempt to prevent them discovering each other. You have also learned that the defendant's brother was adopted by an affluent couple when he was just a baby and was raised as their own. He went to private schools, given the best social and academic opportunities, and is well respected in his community as a leader and citizen, without even so much as a parking ticket. The defendant was not so lucky; a ward of the state he bounced from foster home to foster home, sometimes two or three in a year when he was a teenager. He was constantly in trouble with the authorities with a laundry list of charges brought against him - from petty larceny as a child, to repeated problems with drugs, to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon when he beat his tenth grade biology teacher with a keyboard for suggesting he redo a plagiarized assignment. No, genetics are not to blame for these murders. True, his is a tragic story of a broken system that has failed him time and again, but it is still a story. One that unfortunately came to a sad climax when he decided to take the lives of these three promising young girls. Not because he was genetically predisposed to violence, but because his life was one violent episode after another. Violence begets violence.

In closing, ladies and gentlemen, I ask you not to look upon the defendant as a genetic mutation that needs to be studied and fixed, but rather as the monster he truly is. As you well know, the penalty if he is found guilty of these crimes is death by injection. I want you to look at the faces of the families of this man's victims, look long and hard, and make the correct decision.

Thank you."

Guns in restaurants

So there is a bill going around right now trying to be passed that will allow people with CCWs (Carry Concealed Weapon permit) to carry concealed into a restaurant that sells alcohol. There were several comments after the article with people saying how ludicrous this idea was because guns and alcohol don't mix (can we say "No shit, sherlock?") Normally I just let these go, but then there's THIS tool: "Do you HONESTLY feel threatened every time you go out in public? Do you think there's even a 0.1% chance that you will ever find yourself face to face with a threat to your or your family's life? Even the vast majority of police officers, who stick their noses in the face of dangerous encounters every day, never in their entire career need to draw their weapon. Yes, bad things happen - but most of you who feel like you need a gun on your person at all times, it seems like you are EXPECTING trouble, not just being prepared, and that you think a gun in your hand is the only solution. And that makes YOU scary because you are just a bit too trigger happy."

My rebuttal: Let me ask you this, how many times are police officers somewhere WHILE the crime is happening? Not many. Could it be because they don't show up until the crime has already occurred? Admittedly they are not receiving a lot of 911 calls from psychics telling them when and where the crime will happen so it isn't their fault. Talk about absurdity in logic.

When is a crime going to happen? When there are no cops around. Sure there are spectacular police shootouts during drug raids, but how often do those happen at the local Coco's? With more and more restaurants now serving alcohol it's damn tough to find even a halfway decent place to eat out if you are carrying.

***NEWSFLASH*** Not everyone drinks every time they go somewhere that sells alcohol. It's silly for me to have to disarm just because they are selling alcohol in the same facility that I choose to eat dinner. Now, I don't think people should carry into bars. There really isn't much else going on in a bar but boozin' and schmoozin'. But in a family restaurant? I mean PeiWei sells beer now. With violent crime skyrocketing in this economy, I'm not going to be caught with my pants down. Remember that guy a couple months ago that attacked those two girls sitting at the bus stop with a freakin' machete? Or how about the serial stabber on the East side that was just walking around randomly stabbing men? Saying we have to disarm to go into a restaurant just because they sell alcohol is about as ridiculous a law as I've ever heard. They need to bring this bill back. And pass it.

But honestly, if you are lawfully carrying concealed, make sure it is concealed and you won't have this problem. When that whacko decides to shoot up the local Denny's would you rather have a slap on the wrist for carrying concealed in an establishment selling alcohol, or be dead? The choice is yours my friend, make it wisely.

Damn Technomological Kids

As many of you know, I recently received an iPod Touch for Father's Day (yes, I talked them into giving it to me a month early, shaddup). If you have ever used one, you may know that in order to unlock it after waking you have to slide your thumb or finger from left to right along the bottom of the screen. Up to this point that has defeated Gavin. However, today while I was cooking dinner Aurora took my iPod from Gavin who had not only managed to unlock it, but had rearranged all the icons on my four screens and deleted one of the applications. ::Sigh:: I had just spent an hour two nights ago with a spreadsheet planning out my application layout so that the games were in type order and order of frequency of play and my utilities were organized by function and frequency. Did I save those spreadsheets? Nope. Didn't think I'd have to. Guess I will be recreating those and saving them.

So needless to say, my iPod now has a four-digit pin in addition to the slide lock which is going to be a pain in the ass when I need to change tracks in the car.

The funny thing is that I don't think Aurora had figured out the slide lock thing yet. I'm telling you that boy is going to be a hacker.

No Fate But What We Make

The wife and I went to see Terminator: Salvation last night. It was awesome. Not as good as I was expecting, there was a lot of potential to do more that they left out. But since there are supposed to be another two films, we'll see where they take it. Also, the rumor is that the Director's Cut will have a bunch of extra scenes, so that's exciting. I think the main problem is that I've come to expect the story to be more cerebral. I'm not sure why since none of the other movies have been, but maybe I've been ruined by TSCC. Who knows. But that isn't why I've come here tonight. The last line in the movie sparked some memories. "There is no Fate but what we make."

I realized that was what sparked my initial separation from Religion, with a capital R. When T2 came out in 1991 (I think I actually got to see in in '93) I heard that line and it set bells off in my head. I realized that the concept is one of the hardest for humanity to come to grips with. So many people are afraid of the possibility that we control our own destiny. That there is no divine or cosmic weaver of the tapestry that is our future. We've created Religion as a way to alleviate that fear. By putting our Fate or Destiny in the hands of someone else, we are relieved of the responsibility for our own actions. Not in a mundane sense, mind you. You are still responsible for kicking that puppy that got in your way. But if your spouse or child dies from cancer or some illness you can have people tell you that the Lord works in mysterious ways, or that there is a Greater Purpose for all things. It makes you feel better on some deeper level knowing that there is nothing you could have done. Maybe not, but I don't believe that there IS some greater purpose out there, or some mysterious God holding the strings of our lives.

I do, however, believe that we can affect change in our own lives and destinies. Through proper focus, thought patterns and basic ritual, we can change things. True your average meat popsicle, or Sheeple as I like to call them, is generally just going to go through life on autopilot, but there are those of us whose minds work in the upper levels of the intelligence quotient range that are capable of shaping our lives in the way we want to.

Now you may be thinking this is all mumbo-jumbo and something only creepy, spooky people do and talk about, but not so. Sure, we may go about it in a different way, but every time you pick up a self-help book, or attend one of those seminars about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or something you are doing the same thing. Time after time we are shown that people can affect change in their lives through proper attitude and thinking. Does that mean that God is now suddenly shining upon them? If so I ask you this: where the hell was he before? Why did it take learning about changing your attitude or thought patterns to cause that person to suddenly be in favor with God? The Xians will tell you that it's because you have now dedicated your life to him. But what if you aren't a Xian in the first place? Are you going to tell me that the only people that are truly happy and successful are Religious? I think not. I've known a lot of Religious types in my life and I can tell you that few, if any, are truly happy or successful. They always have marriage problems, or money problems, or work problems. Yes, those are all things that are by and large unavoidable, but I know that you can change how they affect you in your daily life.

Remembering that there is no Fate but what *we* make is what is key. I know too many people that are miserable here on Earth so they can be rewarded in Heaven. Why would you do that to yourself? This is the only life you will remember. Since we have no proof of an afterlife, I would have to say that it would be tough to justify having to be miserable for some unverifiable reward. How many of you would bust your ass 70 hours a week at your job only to have your boss say you "might be rewarded"? I sure as hell wouldn't. One of my favorite bumperstickers says "I believe in life before death". I couldn't agree more.

There is no forever, just today. Don't let your sacrifice waste away.

Local geek attacked by fashion... Film at 11.

Hehe. So because of my promotion I've decided that I need to start dressing a little more respectably. When I started out at MUSD, they asked me to wear polos/collared shirts. I complied for a long time, got some Dickies work shirts and put patches on them so I could obey the letter of the law, if not the spirit. Then I bought a couple T-shirts from Think Geek and started wearing them. One said "You read my t-shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day." The other said "i > u". I got some amused responses from my bosses and wasn't told I couldn't wear them, so I started buying spiffy t-shirts all over the place. Enter the fateful "WTF?" shirt. Wore that to work one day, got my first "verbal warning". Yeah, apparently my boss knew that didn't stand for "Where's The Fun?" He said that all the kids at the high schools knew what it meant and that it was clearly inappropriate. Makes sense since that is one of the only shirts I got compliments on from students. So I reevaluated the image I was putting forth to students, teachers, and staff. I realized that while I may look like your typical "techie", I did not look the part of a System Administrator which will be my new title come July 1. Since it means almost a three dollar-an-hour raise, I figure I might need to dress to impress.

So I went shopping. A good chunk of change later and I think I am ready. I say "good chunk" but most of what I got was on sale for $7 a shirt. Yay for sales. It all started when I went with my wife to get a polo for an important meeting with some folks from Apple and the superintendent of the district. I wanted one of the polyester golf shirts since I am tired of the cotton shrinking all the damn time. One look and the wife says no. Not only no, but hell no. So I am wandering around the mens department and my wife comes up with some rather... homosexual... looking shirts. She sees my look of concern and goes "before you say anything, try them on". Needless to say I was rather dubious. I'll be damned if they didn't look fantastic. I guess it was strange for me to be wearing "color" (most of my shirts are black or dark blue). One of these was a bright blue with white pinstripes, the other gray with white stripes. I bought both and thought that would be the end of it.

I went to work the next day in the bright blue one with the sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way tucked into regular blue jeans. I had probably half a dozen people comment on how nice I looked. My boss even said "Wow, you clean up nice! What's the occasion?" I wasn't sure how to take that. Did I really look that nice or did I just normally look like shit so even the smallest effort stands out? That decided it for me. Come July 1, no more T-shirts at work unless I am doing something dirty (moving PCs, hauling stuff around, etc). I went back to the store and went nuts. I now have the original two, another blue w/ white stripes (different than the other one, not as bright); a pink and a yellow shirt, both also with white pinstripes; a pastel purple and a tea green (both with ties) and a pale blue shirt. All are long-sleeve oxfords that I will be rolling up and either tucking in or not depending on my mood. I was IMing one of the girls at work telling her I had clothes with color and she goes "The day you buy a yellow shirt is the day the world will end." I actually had to take a picture of them hanging in my closet and send it to her to prove it. After she looks at the pic she goes "OMG!!! Is that one next to it PINK?!?!?" Hehe. I am amused. I may look metro, but at least I won't have people falling down in shock over my dressing up once or twice.

How to order tacos without being a bitch.

I went into Chipotle tonight to get a couple burritos for the wife and I. In front of me was this yuppie in her "scrub clothes" (read t-shirt and designer jeans with no makeup) holding a four year old. She goes up to order and asks for a Burrito Bol, three tacos and a taco on the side. The guy looks at her, obviously confused, and goes "What was that?" "I want three tacos and one on the side" "On the side of what?" "It's for him," and she nods at the kid. So he replies "Oh so you want an order of three tacos and an another taco by itself?" She goes completely cold. I was standing two feet *behind* her and I felt a blast of ice. "Yes, that's what I said when I said I wanted one on the side." The guy gets a little uncomfortable and tries to make a joke... he kind of giggles and goes "I just wasn't sure what you wanted it on the side of." She just stared him down. He finishes making what she wanted with her being a total douche to him. She gets passed off to the next person responsible for salsa and toppings, and I walk up to the counter. I started ordering and I could tell that the guy was uncomfortable so I lean in and go "Yeah, dude, I think you ruined her whole day with that on the side business." He chuckled and immediately relaxed. So I get near the end, passed off to the condiment lady, tell her what I want and I hear "The Bitch" complaining to the cashier. She was trying to do it quietly but I heard her say how rude the guy was and that she was never coming back because of his attitude, yada yada yada. I saw the guy keep looking over and he looked like he was getting nervous again. The cashier asked if she wanted to talk to the manager but the douchecunt just waved her off and stormed out. I walked up to the cashier, handed my credit card and said (rather loudly) "For the record he wasn't rude in any way, shape, or form, she was just being a bitch." I'm pretty sure she heard me and I saw the guy grin.

Normally I am the one pissed at the less than intelligent fast food workers, but that guy was honestly confused because she made no fucking sense. I would have reacted exactly the same as he did. Who orders three tacos with one taco on the side? On the side of what? Why not just order four tacos? Or say "I need an order of three tacos and then one extra one"? That makes a shit ton more sense than one on the side.

I wonder if she asks for sex with cock on the side.

Obituary

At 423 years old, Sir Lord Goatama Himself, was the oldest, most cantankerous asshole on the planet for the last several centuries. He flew his car himself right up until the day he died from sheer exhaustion after pleasing every playmate at the new Playboy Amusement Park in what used to be sunny Southern California, but is now known as The Floating City of Debauchery. He is survived by more children, grand children, great grandchildren, etc etc etc than the mythical/biblical Abraham. In fact, it is believed that everyone on the planet is somehow tied to this multi-billionaire, either through birth or marriage. His most significant accomplishment in his long-ass life was abolishing the entire "PC" movement. He is quoted as saying "Fuck political correctness right in its ear."

When are T.H.E.Y. gonna get it?

It saddens me to realize that The International Organization of T.H.E.Y. is never going to "get it". This country is still run by a government and corporations that are stuck in 19th century mindsets. Schools are primarily setup in the same way they have been almost since their inception. Nobody is taking into account that the world is different, the people are different, the technology is different. We no longer learn by being lectured to, we no longer understand by rote. We have to change the way things are being done.

I just finished the finale of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I am pretty sure they are not going to renew it for another season. Do you want to know why? Because TV networks are still doing everything by Nielsen ratings. Are you kidding me? Raise your hand if you still watch ALL your shows ONLY when they are aired. Interesting, I don't see any. Um, you in the back, you can put your arm down. Nobody likes you anyway. Instead we watch TV on DVRs, TiVos, Hulu, iTunes, and network websites. We watch shows when WE want to. Our lives are too sporadic to live by a schedule determined by dumbasses in thousand-dollar suits. Yet they still gauge everything they do by those little Nielsen boxes. I'll tell you what, I have seen too many shows go the way of the dodo because of those fucking boxes. When are they going to get a clue? I read once that the reason they don't take all the other sources into account when they tabulate their data is because it's too much information. So we get shows like Firefly, Dresden Files, Moonlight, and TSCC cancelled because they just want to hit a button and see the Nielsen scans. While shows like Survivor go on for season after season. It sucks because we are letting everything be dictated by the few idiots that watch their shows at specific times. We are pandering to those that have no lives. That pisses me off.

It seems that instead of getting better, this stuff is getting worse. The internet is no longer just a tool for geeks and nerds, it is accessible to anyone and everyone. Don't believe me? Just watch a video on YouTube - any video really - and read the comments posted. You'll find that the majority of the people commenting are certainly NOT geeks and nerds. Yes, the internet is still mainly run by the smart people, but with Web 2.0 you'll find more and more that everyone has discovered they can make their voices heard, for good or ill. Yet corporations still think it's a fad. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to a company's website and found that information hasn't been updated in over a year. Why is this? What will it take for society's leaders to wake up and tap into this vast world of cyberspace? For something other than advertising, that is.

Damned paranoia

So once again my paranoia has reared it's ugly head to bite me square in the ass. Let me take you through an example of why healthy paranoia is not always fun and games.

Two years ago I signed up for Vonage. Among it's plethora of features was the option to block calls that came in with caller ID blocked. Fast forward to two nights ago. I was looking at Verizon's website to see how much it would cost to add data to my plan so I could surf the interwebs on my phone. In the features section I saw that I could add Caller ID blocking to my phone for free. Thinking this would be nice since sometimes I have to call teachers from my cell phone and I would rather they not have the number, I checked the box and saved my changes. I'm sure you can see where this is going. I didn't think a thing of it until today when I got in the van from work and tried to call home. I got the message "We're sorry but the party you are calling does not accept calls from blocked numbers at this time. Please try your call again." Oh yeah, cause I am sure LATER will be different. No option to dial 1 to unblock my number and continue the call. No instructions to hang up and dial *82 and the number. Since I didn't get an option I wasn't sure if there even was a way to call and unblock my number since this was VOIP and what not. But I tried *82 anyways and it worked. Yay. *Note to self, try to keep all paranoid precautions in mind when making changes to one's various services.

Suicide and Jail? Wut?

We were watching World's Scariest Dumbass Criminals - or some shit - tonight, and I saw something that triggered a thought train I've had numerous times in the past. Why do we put dumbasses that threaten to commit suicide in jail? Or even better, why do we put dumbasses on Death Row on Suicide Watches? Does this make any fucking sense to anyone else? We spend billions of dollars a year keeping people on Death Row healthy just so we can eventually kill them? Or how about people who are in prison for life without the possibility of parole? Those guys live better than most of the rest of the world. Including the 12.5% of Americans at or below the poverty level.

How.. wha... who thought this was the right way to do things? I mean c'mon, this is ridiculous. We have population problems as it is, I say we do some serious purging of our jail systems. Let the potsmokers and kids that were dorking their 16 or 17 year old girlfriends when they were 19 or 20, out. Let the white collar criminals and the hackers out on "community control" or probation or whatever. Kill the fuckin' child molesters (*note* the word child as defined as a young person between birth and puberty), the murderers, the career felons, the coke/meth/heroin dealers/addicts and let's start the fuck over. That still leaves plenty of people in jail for other shit, but will save the American taxpayers billions. Maybe we can use that money to reshape the current justice system. I'm tired of reading about police so ignorant of technology that they think linux users are cyber-terrorists or some shit. Constantly I hear about police raids and judge verdicts that are based on complete ignorance of the technology they are ruling on. We need to setup a justice system that is specifically trained for certain cases. Judges and prosecutors and police that are current with technology. The same for sex crimes, for drug crimes and for violent crime. I mean hell, they allegedly have special victims units dedicated to this shit but really it just seems like the cops are about as clueless as the judges and attorneys. Have you ever seen a lawyer specializing in cyber crime defense? I haven't either. Our society is (d)evolving too damn fast to be basing court decisions on cases made decades or even centuries ago.

They say there is nothing new under the sun. I call Rule 34 on that shit. Confusing? Too bad, cause we are moving too fast for you not to know what I am talking about. We need a fucking revolution and there are too many god-damned sheeple out there to make it happen.

Fatties <3 CiCi's

So we went to CiCi's Pizza tonight for the first time. And hopefully for the last time. Other than the fact that I turned into an absolute bear after dinner because my sugar shot up to over 330, I realized that CiCi's is everything that is wrong with our society. Let me tell you why. You can go there and get unlimited Pizza, Pasta, Breadsticks and Dessert. For $5.49. Oh, and some salad. But we were the only ones I saw getting salad. I went through the line for the first time and as I walked to our table I looked around. Other than the few Fire Dept Paramedics at one table there was one, I repeat, ONE family there that had people smaller than us. And the place was fairly packed. Only about 7 empty tables. At almost every table was a family of fatties. Not just one or two, the whole family.

Cassi went up to the line (we go in turns so one of us can stay with the kids) and as she got through the line, patiently waiting after getting her pizza, she gets to the dessert part and this fat bitch stampedes up from the seating area and takes almost all of the cinnabuns. Cassi grabs the two that are left after this display of self-control by the hefty bitch and sits down. I go up after I eat my pizza to sample some dessert as well and as I am getting up there the same thing happens to me. Tubby McFatass sees me going for the dessert, shoves her way up there and snatches 80% of the cinnabuns. I was like "WTF?" So I get one of the remaining three (there was another guy the bitch cut off who was also waiting) and sit back down. I told Cassi the same thing happened to me. We compared notes on our hippos and found it to be the same hippo on both accounts. So I start to watch her a little bit. She went back to that dessert table no less than four more times and obtained most of the cinnabuns each time. She was sitting with only three people. I'm not sure if she shared, but they were all "large and in charge" to say the least. Now I'm not a thin person, nor is my wife, but god dammit, this made me disgusted. There is not one thing nutritionally redeeming on the menu at CiCi's. And the fatties know it. Boy do they know it.

I don't think we'll be going back there any time soon. Sure it's fairly inexpensive for the wallet. But the cost to your body isn't worth the savings.

Ink

I always love when I am at one of the high schools and a kid spots my tattoos. They invariably ask "Did it hurt?" To which I always reply: "Take a needle. Now jam it into your skin a hundred times a second for over an hour straight. Then get a really bad sunburn on just one area of your body for three weeks and try not to touch it. What do you think?" Now I'm no slouch to pain, but at the same time I am not a fan of it either. I'm not one of those guys that gets all macho and says it feels good or some bullshit, but at the same time I don't sit there and cry about it either. I remember getting my tongue pierced. Trying to eat pizza the next day sucked balls. But when my best friend got it done he screamed and cussed and ran outside and punched a vending machine, almost breaking his hand in the process. Then when he saw me get my second or third tattoo (maybe fourth, I can't remember) he decided to get one, too. He was in tears about halfway through and he got one that is smaller than a silver dollar and not a lot of detail. (It was the kanji for "Tiger")

I guess some people handle pain differently. I've got 7 decent sized tattoos, and had four non-ear piercings and while I can't say they were a blast, I've always enjoyed them. Especially my nipple piercing. >:) In fact I think once I lose 50 lbs I will treat myself to re-piercing my left nipple and getting the right one done as well. Hell maybe only 30. We'll see.

Chewbacca or Darth Vader?

So I was leaning back in my chair and rubbing my eyes at work as I am wont to do when I am problem solving something that doesn't make sense. As my eyes cleared I noticed that a ding in the ceiling tile above my head looks like either Chewbacca (the wood underneath is the same color and almost has eyes a nose and mouth) or Darth Vader (the shape look like his helmet). I just cracked up. Enough to where people came down the hall to figure out what was wrong with me. ><

RIF

After reading Stina's post about RIFing and DITing, I thought I would add my two cents. One of the girls that I work with daily got a RIF letter so her last day is the 30th of June. It sucks because there aren't a whole lot of people that I can work well with and she is one of them. Now they are going to bring in some old hag from one of the schools to take her place and what am I gonna do? I don't do well with people I don't know and/or don't like. I mean I use her login all the time to go shopping for stuff I want/need for work. Is the new lady gonna let me do that? Prolly not. All selfishness aside, though, it sucks because she is very suited for her position. When the district did their RIF they didn't take into account whether someone was A) Competent, B) Knowledgeable or C) Works well with others in the department. All they did was look at someone's position and their time in that position. The person could have been with the district for 30 years, but if they recently took a promotion they got cut. It's ridiculous. They need to have a "Worth-A-Fuck" meter. If they are low then they get axed. But if they do a job that few people are competent enough to do, then they shouldn't get RIFed. For example, the secretary I work with has to deal with teachers on a regular basis. The other person they bring in will probably not have had to do that, and believe me, that is no walk in the park. So she deals with pissy, demanding teachers, two people that fight like an old married couple (me and the other girl in the dept) and then she has to deal with my moodiness and demands all while putting in purchase orders and making sure she is still taking care of our director as well. That's a demanding job and I don't think many other secretaries of her level would even be capable of doing it, let alone willing. This is dumb.

Another shitty part is that our salaries are funded federally. We don't cost the district a dime. Yet they get to determine who gets to keep the job? I call bullshit.

We need to send our legislature a fucking wake up call. Arizona is 49th in the country for a REASON and cutting education even more is NOT going to fix that. One of our douchebag legislators actually said "Face it, education does not create jobs". No shit, Sherlock. But it *does* ensure that we have people educated and trained enough to GET jobs. Fucking ass hat. Maybe if we revamped our education system we could teach kids and prepare them for jobs they'll be getting when they get out of school. We need to stop thinking of education in the 19th century classroom format, we need to adapt. We need to innovate. Watch these videos and you'll see what I mean:

Change * (This one has Uncle Phil in it)

Did you know?

*Note - The point of this is not an ad for Kaplan, I don't support them any more than I do any of the other crappy, overpriced online colleges, the point is the message it sends.

Wow... people are fucked.

So after reading about 60 pages of FML - fmylife.com (yeah, the F stands for what you think it does) I realized that I am not quite the asshole/bastard we all think I am. Granted I am not in high school, nor am I college aged, so that explains quite a bit of it. But man, people now days are just fucked up. A lot of the entries almost sound like punch lines to mean jokes and I wonder how many of them actually are, but I also notice that a lot of them probably aren't made up. Now some of them clearly have back stories that give reasons for people's actions, but even still a lot of it is pretty sad. Granted I also read a bunch of stories about guys wanting to propose to their girlfriends who really didn't care about them and I wonder just how so many people van be so naive to what their partner is thinking/feeling. I never in a million years would have proposed to my wife if I thought for an instant that she wouldn't say yes. If I had even a fraction of doubt I would've waited.

So yeah, I'm just a guy who can't stand stupidity and generally doesn't like 99.9999998% of the human population.

A.A. - Accessorizers Anonymous

I came to a realization this morning on my way to work. A memory from my childhood triggered it. Well, from my teenage years, which weren't really all that long ago.

When I was about 15 I discovered cigars. Actually I didn't really discover them since I couldn't smoke. But what I did discover would apparently change me forever. One day while sitting in my favorite bagel shop, I was browsing through the free periodicals they had for their customers to peruse while enjoying one of their famous bagel sandwiches. A magazine I had never seen before caught my eye: Cigar Aficionado. What a great word, that. Aficionado: a person who likes, knows about, and appreciates a usually fervently pursued interest or activity. In this case the magazine wanted you to believe they were talking about cigars. They lie. Upon opening the magazine you find ad after ad after product placement for every type of cigar accessory you could possibly imagine. Now I know what you are thinking, "but Goat, don't you just smoke the cigar? What the hell do you need accessories for?" I'm not quite sure but I can tell you that I wanted them. I secretly purloined said periodical and took it home. In my room I sat there turning page after page lusting after fine calf leather cigar cases, gold cigar cutters, exquisite mahogany humidors, custom Zippo lighters, and on and on and on. It didn't help matters that every article, picture, and ad made sure you were fully aware that if you smoked cigars you would become a Fucking Badass (note the capital letters) but only if you were debonair enough to own all the accessories.

Now at this point I could not yet purchase any of these items on my own, but I deeply desired to be a F.B. as I was told I could be. So I began planning and fantasizing about all the cigar accessories I would buy the second I turned 18. I actually started buying Zippos since nobody cared to card me. I currently have at least six of them with a leather carrying case for whichever one I want to carry that day. I also have dozens of other various lighters. I'm a pyro, hush.

So come my 18th birthday I was all ready to start my road to the gloriousness that being a Fucking Badass would afford me. I went shopping. I started off small, I bought a couple cigars, a leather cigar case, a simple cigar cutter, and another zippo. Holy crapfuck that was expensive. I think I spent a hundred dollars and I didn't even get any really fancy cigars. Unfortunately when I was 18 I was on my own and had to support myself so I had to put an end to that. But the damage was done.

I no longer obsess about cigars, but the problem has just evolved to include my current interests. Now with every piece of technology I purchase, I have to have accessories to enjoy it. I have a carrying case for my flash drives, a case for my hard drives, I have a *different* bag/murse (man purse for the unenlightened) for each of the three laptops I use, including a neoprene case for each of those laptops, I have a geek holster to carry my gadgets on my person, I even bought a case for an iPod touch that I don't even own yet (it was on sale, hush). And the only reason I have so few accessories for these items is because I am limited on my spending by a wife who is far wiser than I.

My name is Goatama, and I have a problem. I am an accessory whore.

Database concepts class

I've been taking a class at Pima West campus since January. It's scheduled for every Tuesday from 5:40 - 9:20. I don't like this class. Let me tell you why. First of all the instructor seems to have "short-timers" syndrome. I don't think we have had a class yet where he hasn't mentioned retiring soon. Because of this he doesn't really seem to want to teach the class. We have yet to go past 7:30 on any night. While I would have been thrilled at this prospect any other time in my life, at this point I am taking this class because I actually want to learn something. And an hour and a half drive to and from class isn't worth an average of 45 minutes of kind of learning something. I'm serious when I say "kind of learn". I don't think I know anything more than when I started this class. I actually feel dumber on some nights when I leave there. And unfortunately I know I am not alone. There have been two quizzes so far. Pretty much the whole class has bombed both of them. And when your entire grade is based on four quizzes where the lowest grade is dropped, bombing two of the four is no bueno. Now I am not an unintelligent person, and computers is my specialty. I know if I don't get it there is something wrong. I have gotten all As for the last few semesters, it seems this is going to be the first class where I'm not. It would be different if there were a textbook that I could review on my own, but there isn't. He isn't teaching from a textbook. Oh, there is a required text listed, but on the first day the instructor told us it was basically worthless because he doesn't teach out of it. Although interestingly tonight the powerpoint (yeah, that's how he teaches, he reads slides) said Chapter 4. I'm sorry? This is the tenth week and we are only on chapter FOUR??!? The guy who sits next to me is a database administrator for Raytheon and even he is lost with a lot of this shit. Methinks the instructor is leaving out a bunch of stuff. There have been terms that I've had to google because he just throws them out there and doesn't define or explain them. And then when we get the quiz those words are on there and we have to define them. No short answer, no multiple guess and no open notes. It's hard to retain information you've never been given, ya know?

So I went today and asked an advisor what I could do and they said at this point I can just withdraw and get nothing refunded. However when I explained what was going on with the instructor they said to email the department head and they might allow me to do an administrative drop and take it in the fall. Online. With a textbook.

Trying something new

So I've decided to try something new. I'm tired of MySpace since all I really ever do on it is blog anyways. Now I can just blog and use my MySpace for... uh... whatever other stuff I do on there. I dunno.